literature

Eye Witness Account

Deviation Actions

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Literature Text

    “Mr. Wilhelm McCormick?” the detective asked as he entered the questioning room.
    “Uh... yeah. Yeah that's me,” said the man at the table.
    The detective hung up his coat and sat across from McCormick.
    “My name is Detective Malcolm.”
    “Does my wife know yet?” McCormick asked, holding his hat in both hands. It was a gesture that conveyed the man's unease and uncertainty.
    “Yes,” Malcolm answered. “She's on her way now to come see you.”
    McCormick sighed, and nodded.
    “I know you've had a rough evening,” Malcolm said, “but I need you to tell me what happened. Can you do that?”
    Visibly shaken, but not broken, McCormick recited the evenings events.

    “I was walking home from the theater, and as I passed by that jazz joint on Lincoln avenue, this guy comes out of the alley way with a gun! He tells me to give him my wallet and anything of value or whatever.”
    “Did you see what he looked like?” Malcolm asked.
    McCormick closed his eyes, trying to recall the memory. “He was, uh, pretty tall. I guess. He was wearing all black and had a black bandana over his mouth, but I could see his eyes and that whole area fine. He had grey eyes-- crazy eyes, and his face was pale. Real pale. Fella must not have spent much time out of doors.”
    “So what'd you do?” Malcolm asked.
    “Well I did what he said, of course. I took out my wallet and tossed it down by his feet. Must not have seen my watch, or he would have asked for it, too. So he kneels down to pick it up, I take a step back. Then the doors to the jazz place open up and people start coming out. It must has spooked the robber, because the next thing I know, the gun goes off, I trip on the curb and fall over backwards and hit my head, and the guy takes off. Didn't even get my wallet. I see this colored fella run out of the place and sees the robber running away. 'Yeah get outta here!' he shouts, then comes over to me, asking me if I'm okay. He's wearing this nice white suit, so I guess he worked at the jazz place. Must have, to afford a set of threads like those. Anyways, I hear people talking about calling the cops, and calling a doctor, and a bunch of other noise... all the while the colored boy just stays by my side as I lay there on my back like a fish on land. He stays around 'till the ambulance takes me away. And that's about it.”
    Malcolm put down the pencil he'd been writing with and looked over the notes again.
    “You gonna find him?” McCormick asked.
    Malcolm looked up from his notes.
    “You gonna find the guy... who killed me?”
    Malcolm nodded. “You have my word. We'll get him. We'll get him.”
The first of my twelve monthly short stories!
I started out writing a different piece, but it was going very slowly and is much longer than this one, so I'll try to finish that one for February, and I'm posting this one now. I did this one in one sitting, and it's just under 500 words-- which is more than I usually write in a day (which is not much). But once I get the ball rolling, things should pick up.

Anyways, I hope you liked this little short story (or rather, flash fiction, considering how short it is). There are plenty of shows and stories about crime solvers who can see ghosts, but I thought it'd be neat to imagine a world where anybody, and not just the detective, and the ghosts could testify against their killers.

Your feedback is always appreciated.

DFTBA!
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Rainbow-Acey's avatar
what...
well that was an interesting twist :o

and yes indeed it was quite short.
I usually scroll down to the bottom when I am about to read a story from one of the people I watch.... but this one literally fits the page. No scrolling.

It's so tiny but so  nicely written. :dummy:

what I'm saying is nice work.